Stream of Consciousness

I do not want to be here in this position of war right now. I need to keep thinking positive but all I am doing is thinking negative. I want to win this. I do not want to die and have to have my wife living without her husband and my kids living without their dad and having them have to be living a miserable and tough life without me. I just do not want to mess up at all and I just want to make it out without dying and so I can continue on living a good life with my wonderful family. I do not want my family to have to be worrying and scared for this long of a time while I am in at war trying to fight this out alive. I just need to pray that I will get through war without dying but the problem is that I am not ready for this at all...